I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
They took my balls.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
