Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
