She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
