if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
