You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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