Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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