Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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