So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
