Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
