Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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