I can tuck mytits in my pants
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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