You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
COCAINE IS GR8
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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