She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
