i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There's always time for handjobs
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
