Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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