I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
