I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
