also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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