I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
