Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
