i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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