I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
