Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
