Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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