Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
