Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
