I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
