I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
