just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
