Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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