i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
