my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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