"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
