my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I will be naked everywhere
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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