Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Randomize
