I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
