I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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