no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
