We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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