I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
