Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
