Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
