Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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