I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
