did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
