apparently the secret to your success is patron
only if we run a train.
done.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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