I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
