Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
