Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
