Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
